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The Fight

When you love someone, you CRAVE their presence, you CRAVE their place in your world, you CRAVE the sound of their voice, the sensation of their touch. You CRAVE the reaction you have to their being, their looks, their taste, their love.

When you love someone.. you don’t GIVE UP. You don’t FORGET to reply, you don’t FORCE yourself to spend time with them, or DREAD spending the day with them. When you love someone, BEING with them, it’s as easy as BREATHING.

And no… this isn’t me saying that when you’re in love with someone everything is sunshine and rainbows… it’s me saying that DESPITE the fights, the arguments, the disagreements, the pain, the struggles you go through, everything that life throws at you…DESPITE all of the bad times.. when you’re with them everything will be okay… EVENTUALLY.

When you love someone.. you MAKE TIME for them, you CHOOSE to be with them, to let them in. When you love someone.. you CONFIDE in them, come to them with your troubles and you HOPE and PRAY that they respect and trust you enough to do the same.

When you love someone… every day is a CHOICE… everyday is a FIGHT between doing what’s best for yourself, and the one you love. When you love someone, you FIGHT for that love you share, you FIGHT for yourself, and you fight FOR each other.

When you love someone… you DON’T fight EACH OTHER.

But when you love someone… you can’t forget who you are. Because when you forget who you are… you forget why everything started.. you forget the way things should be.. and you let things go.. you give up on yourself and them.. you give up on the relationship you built together.

PLEASE. DON’T GIVE UP.

XOXO, NEURO

All Hope Is Lost

When all hope is lost, it’s like a waving crashing over you.. over.. and over again.. unable to breathe. Just sinking deeper into the abyss that is that life you’ve dealt yourself.

There are no life jackets; no floaties.. nothing keeping you from going under.

What does one do when all hope is lost and there’s nothing else to do.. but fall under and let it all slip away.

Xoxo, Neuro

I want to be loved.

I want to be loved like there’s no one else in the world that compares to me.

I want to be loved like there’s no other way to live.

I want to be loved…

I want to be loved by someone so genuine that you can’t even imagine what you were thinking when you were with someone else.

There is no one else.

That’s the love I crave and desire.

A burning sensation so intense that I might die if I don’t receive it.

I want to be loved.

Xoxo, Neuro

Lightening and You

The sky sparks bright in a late summer storm

Flashes, cracks, boom

Grey skies, bright in an instant, that slowly fade

Each spark, unique.

The move together as we do, at our own pace

Moving with the thunder

Echoing like our heartbeats

With my head against your chest

As with the storm

Everything fades away

The sun shines

and I have found my peace.

xoxo, Neuro

Stuck

There are many times in life we feel stuck. Physically, emotionally, mentally… It’s a feeling that we all have felt before. It drains us, makes us feel inadequate, helpless, hopeless. Not knowing where to go next, or what move to make.

Feeling stuck to me is one of the worst feelings I can have. Physically stuck? I find a way out, reach out for help, and continue moving forward. Emotionally stuck? I talk to my therapist, or my best friend, or as you’ve all witnessed here, I write through my emotions and continue on my happy way. Mentally? Well, again… I talk it out, write it out, or work through it in my own way.

Today though, is one of the worse ways I could ever feel stuck. I feel stuck inside myself.

I feel like I’m trapped inside my brain, inside my head, inside this body… but I’m not really stuck.. I mean I am.. my soul is in this body until I die, or whatever it is you believe. But it’s much more than that today. I feel like I’m trapped inside my own mind, stuck with the intrusive thoughts, the darkness. I am trapped deep into the unbearable caves of my mind just searching for a way out.

How does one get out of her own mind?

Well, that’s a fun one isn’t it? music, talking to friends, going out, painting, spending time in nature, working out, sex.

All of these things usually help me get out of my mind.

But, what do you do when nothing works? When you don’t know how to move on from the things haunting you in your own brain?

When everything you try, every moment of life around you just hurt more than help. When everything outside of your mind triggers the darkness inside?

I wish I knew how to help myself. I wish I knew how to continue on, without hurting this much.

But how do you come back from feeling so numb, yet so hurt. Even worse when you continue to just hurt yourself with every thought that passes through your mind. When even the good things, the things that you enjoy in the deepest part of your soul, the people you love more than anything in the world, just don’t bring you any kind of rest from the pain inside your own mind?

Right now.. more than any other time.. I wish I knew.

xoxo, Neuro

Beauty and Grace

Her whole world sometimes seems like an absolute forest of darkness.

The sun never shines,

The clouds gloom over her,

Yet she never wavers.

The waves take her under, over, and over again until she feels as if she can no longer breathe.

Until one day..

The waves cease.

The sun breaks through the clouds and she shines like all the stars in the sky.

Through the drowning, breaking, fading..

She rises above the mess

Unitil all that’s left is the beauty and grace.

The beauty of the sun reflected in the calm ocean water..

A resemblance of her beauty deep within her soul, that’s reflected in the brightness in her eyes.

The tide laps at the sand, before pulling back.

Just as graceful as she begins to move through life.

Once she looks deep inside,

Just to find..

Beauty and Grace.

xoxo, Neuro

Trust

How do you trust anyone? Strangers? Friends? Family? Significant others? How does one just let go and put their trust and faith into someone so effortlessly.

We go through life putting our trust into so many people, on multiple levels throughout our days without even realizing it. We trust out family to have our backs, we trust our friends to be there for us, strangers not to ram into our cars while we’re driving. Yet, there are so many of us who can’t trust ourselves.

What do we do when we realize that we can’t even trust ourselves to keep us safe?

Maybe it’s the anxiety, maybe it’s the trauma.. but one of the saddest moments is when you realize that no matter what.. you thought you were safe.. but you can’t even seem to do that for yourself.

and honestly that is what terrifies me.

Here I sit and wonder… will I ever trust myself again? Will I ever let myself trust someone else again?

Right now, I honestly don’t know. maybe one day I’ll trust again.. but that day won’t be today.

xoxo, Neuro

Her Grace

Her smile lights up the space

The way her eyes shine makes my heart race

Her curves like honey…

I want to taste.

Her skin.. so soft..

I want to dip right in

Her soul so pure

Her brain quite a mess

No one deserves that love more

Than she whom I long to caress

Xoxo, Neuro

Hope

Nothing gives you hope like things finally falling into place. You find love, you build something with someone special.. and you plan for the future

You let yourself hope again for the first time in a long time.. and suddenly everything falls into place.

You then realize that all of your hope is worth it because you have the power to change your future and build a life just the way you hope for it.

And maybe.. just maybe.. this time.. you’ll be glad you help on hope to the things that bring your soul to life.